Twinkle, twinkle Nyan Cat,
deep in space is where you're at.
Up above the world so high,
8-bit Pop-Tart in the sky.
YouTube meme with rainbow trail
streaming out behind your tail
with sparkly stars - imagine that!
Twinkle, twinkle Nyan Cat.
The Eighth DaughterOnce upon a time, there was a king who lived in a peaceful and prosperous land quite far away from here. Now this king, like most kings of his era, was very rich and powerful, and he had eight beautiful daughters besides. The king was very proud of his daughters, as well he should be. For each daughter, in addition to being heart-stoppingly beautiful, had been taught a unique skill by a wise and learned fairy tutor, the better to marry her off to some rich and powerful prince.
The first daughter could spin any kind of material you liked, be it flax or silk or cotton or wool. She could even spin straw into gold, though she didn't like to do it often for fear of showing off. Whatever she spun, she could spin it so fine it would pass through a needle a hundred times, which is really showing off, if you ask me. The next daughter could sing so beautifully, she could captivate the opposite sex with her music alone. Even male animals would swoon at the sound of her voice, and don't get me sta
My Girlfriend is a Mad ScientistMy girlfriend is a mad scientist.
Her Facebook page said nothing of this.
But that's kind of important, don't know how you could miss
Mentioning that you're a mad scientist.
In the morning when most girls do their makeup and hair,
She puts on a labcoat and protective eyewear.
Birthdays are tricky, 'cause the one thing she wants
Is world domination, and that won't fit in a box.
In true villain style, she named her cat Artemis
When she makes her inventions, he helps her with this.
He sits on her lap and he purrs and purrs
As she conducts experiments to see what occurs.
That's right, my girlfriend is a mad scientist.
I wish that her friends would have informed me of this.
But not one of them told me, so I might have to ask
For the dominated world, when she completes the task...
Less Than ThreeI've fallen for a geeky guy.
I'm beyond the laws of gravity;
I'm falling so fast, I'll end up in the past
And never reach a terminal velocity.
Geekiness is hot; it's no surprise.
And you know what's really neat?
He calculates the dilation of my eyes
To find my precise specific heat.
A cute angel measures acute angles
And applies the Pythagorean Theorem
Whispering yummy formulae in my auditory canal,
At such a low amplitude I can barely hear 'em.
You say two bodies can't occupy
The same space at once?
Well, the laws of attraction these bodies follow
Make Newton look a dunce.
So if you're looking for me,
You'll find the one you seek
Concocting heterogeneous mixtures
In the lab with my favorite geek.
Yellow 5O, rare beverage in a can so green
chock full of the finest caffeine
wakes me up when I should be snoozing
always first beverage of my choosing
strangely yellow like nuclear waste
how do I love thy artificial taste?
O, I like it neat or on the rocks
24 cans in a cardboard box
tear it apart and chug them down
'til I'm ready to hit the town
I like it alone or with my crew
how I love thee, Mountain Dew.
WeAreBorg pentameterWe are the Borg, it's futile to resist.
Life as you know it will cease to exist.
Immediately lower your ship's shield,
And power down the weapons that you wield.
That which makes you distinct will be our own.
We will assimilate you as a drone.
Your culture will adapt to serve the hive;
You'll be assigned a name like Six of Five.
(And anyway you probably won't be missed.)
We are the Borg, it's futile to resist.
Prayin'Mama tole me it's good to pray
so I been a-prayin' every day.
Right quick I prayed for no school a'tall
an' lots more o' them purty leaves in the fall.
An' I prayed for new shoes fer everyone,
an' mostly l'il Joe what ain't got but one,
an' peace on earth an' goodwill fer men
and a new pack mule for Ole Man Ben.
Then I prayed so's I di'n't have to clean the stalls
an' I prayed fer a new pair of overalls.
I done prayed fer more fish in the crick
an that daddy finds water with the dowsin' stick
An' I prayed for good weather fer the collards
and fer somebody gives me a million dollars.
But yet, I ain't seen none o' that stuff.
You reckon I didn't pray enough?
Once upon a forum dreary, while I browsed weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious post of forgotten forum lore,
While I flicked through hotlinks clicked suddenly there came a barking,
As if someone were posting, gently posting on page four.
'Tis a roleplay', I muttered, 'posting there on page four-
Only that and nothing more.'
Oh how it buzzed my lone computer, connected there via the router,
It thrilled me, filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating, of my heart I stood repeating,
'Tis a roleplay taking place on this thread's page four-
Some late roleplay taking place on this thread's page four-
That it is, and nothing more.'
Presently my will grew stronger, hesitating then no longer,
'Sirs' said I, 'or by chance madam, your forgiveness I implore'
But the fact is I was browsing, and your posts they had me rousing,
Though so faintly you came playing, roleplaying on page four,
That I barely thought I saw you.' Here
Obsessed With Doctor Who WhenObsessed with Doctor Who when....
1. You think fezzes are cool.
2. you think bowties are cool and you want to wear them everyday of your life.
3. Wearing a vegetable seems fashionable.
4. You have a button that says David Tennant makes me squee. (sad to say I own one.)
5. Angel statues scare the holy fuck out of you.
6. You have an action figure of your favorite Doctor and carry him around everywhere. (I have two. one of Tom Baker, and Matt Smith wearing a fez and holding a mop.)
7. Apples are rubbish.
8. Pears are gross and disgusting.
9. You see a british phonebooth and you automatically claim it as your own TARDIS and invite your best friend to go see the dinosaurs with you in said TARDIS.(I have one!)
10. You like Bananas.
11. You get into major arguments with Back To The Future fans.
12. You want your own personal Dalek.
13. You have written Bad Wolf on atleast one thing that is blue.
14. You know atleast three songs by Billie Piper.
15. You watch Law and Order UK now that Freema
Der ChemikerDie Stimmung im Labor war mies,
ein paar Kollegen wirklich fies.
Grad' Berthold konnt' ein Arschloch sein,
War intrigant und hundsgemein.
Da trank er Kaffee mit Arsen,
so war's recht schnell um ihn gescheh'n.
Und meinen Chef, hart wie Granit,
erlegte ich mit Cyanid.
Ein wenig leiden musst' er noch,
war doch die Dosis nicht sehr hoch.
Am Ende ist er doch gestorben.
Ich hab' mich um den Job beworben.
Das Schleimen dann, das konnt' nicht schaden,
nun leite ich den ganzen Laden.
Von dem Erfolg höchst inspiriert
hab' ich's dann auch privat probiert.
Zuerst musst' Onkel Heinrich sterben,
so konnt' ich seine Villa erben.
Und Tanja, die mein Herz gebrochen,
hat kurz darauf Phosgen gerochen.
Vom neuen Freund zum Arzt geschickt,
war's schon zu spät – sie ist erstickt.
Tja, und der Freund, was soll man sagen,
er hat Strychnin halt nicht vertragen.
Nun Frauen – junge, hübsche, forsche –
Sie steh'n auf mich und meinen Porsche.
Erfolg macht mich zum tollen Hecht.
IncompetenceIncompetence: A Half-Baked Tale
She disappears in a puff of smoke and leaves me standing there
In a dress of the palest gossamer, with fancy curling hair.
I take a step—my slippers pinch—“Oh dear, they’re slightly small―”
But the coachman interrupts me: “Come! We cannot miss the ball!”
He grins at me with buck teeth as he stands by the carriage door;
I climb inside; my slippers sink in the spongy, slippery floor.
The seat is slightly sticky, leaving pumpkin on my palms,
But the coachman cries, “Hooray! We’re off!” and waves excited arms.
The carriage starts with a painful lurch and soon we’re rolling fast;
I close my eyes and pray it holds together to the last.
My hair is shaken loose; I bump my head, my hand, my knee,
And I wonder if that fairy passed her Magic Arts degree.
Along we jump and jerk and jolt; I’m flung from side to side;
The carriage comes to a screeching halt to end our breakneck ride.
T'was the night before CreepypastaT'was the night before Christmas and Christmas joy was in full height,
Cookies and toys had been set for the night,
Good boys and good girls were deep in slumber by the midnight hour,
The twelve strokes to be marked by the clockwork tower,
All was ready for Santa to visit... well... almost everyone,
There was still one household that wasn't feeling the fun,
Deep in the dark woods a house giving off a small dim of light,
Deep inside that house sounded like one hell of a fight,
This was no average home to average folk you see,
These people were far from normal such as you and me.
The kitchen ablaze with smoke and charred turkey,
The Rake screamed at BOB "I told you to let it out early!"
BOB cried his eyes out and ran away,
Only to slip on some spilled gravy,
The brown lumpy gravy on the floor turned red,
For BOB had an unlucky fall and hit his head,
The pitter patter of paws rushed into the room,
Licked up the gravy and blood and was out in no time soon,
Smile Dog decided next to torment
A 40K ChristmasTwas the night before Christmas
and all through the barracks
not a creature was stirring not even the ferrets.
The servitor stalked through the hallways with care
as though in fear they may be mauled by a bear.
The Space Marines all tucked in tight in their bunks,
dreaming of blowing the 'nids into chunks.
When all of a sudden there arose a great clatter,
I called an Inquisitor to look into the matter.
I ran to the hanger, Laspistol in hand,
and saw a red Thunderhawk with a single white band.
From it there walked a man clad in red,
no sign of a helmet atop his great bearded head.
He carried a sack filled with hundreds of boxes,
and for a moment my fear fell upon poxes,
but then he laughed, in a great 'belly-laugh',
knocking me down, out of reach of my staff.
And then in a time no more than a heartbeat,
he drew out a present and laid it at my feet.
He made his way past the security beams,
giving presents to soldiers who were deep in their dreams.
When he w
Their moshpits are gay, they "hardcore" dance,
They wear at least two belts, and tight girls pants,
They put their hand behind their back, and wiggle their fingers,
When the music stops, their gayness just lingers.
The difference between, their music and ours,
Is the theme of their lyrics, the theme that scars,
Their lyrics are useless, they should be destroyed,
They wouldn't care anyway, their lives are void.
All of their songs, are like cries for help,
They say their life sucks, that they're gonna kill themselves,
Our lyrics are lyrics are about how our lives suck,
But instead of suicide, we kill those who screw it up.
They couldn't live one day, without a razor,
And they've probably never even heard of a phaser,
Their totally worthless, they wear gay-ass clothes,
These people I hate, are the GODDAMN EMOS!!!!!
By Fifty,I'll publish or perish;
find someone to cherish;
move someplace phenomenal;
display an abdominal
physique to inspire,
which I shall acquire!
. . . Or perhaps, just retire.
40 Ways To Annoy Link
1. Run around Link like an idiot and repeat: "Hey! Hey! Watch! Look! Listen!"
2. Remind him over and over that his name isn't mentioned in the game title.
3. Wake him up in the middle of the night. Yell: "You have to SAAAAVE the world!" Then force him to walk to the ladder and push him off the edge. (Link lives in a treehouse, remember?)
4. When he's going to pick up something, say: "Dabadabadabadabadabadaba..." When he picked up the item, yell: "Da-da-da-daaaaah!"
5. Buy a Link plushie, wave it in front of him like it's doing attacks and yell: "HAAARGH! YAAA! ARRRGH!!"
6. Remind him that Tetra winked at him three times in Wind Waker.
7. Tell him that he couldn't do anything without Linebeck in Phantom Hourglass.
8. Fill one of his bottles with sour milk.
9. Ask him what kind of shampoo he uses. If he doesn't tell, pull his hair violently. If he does, buy a bunch of those shampoo bottles and throw them at him.
10. Jump on to his back, and say: "I'm Midna, and you have to do EXACTLY as